1866 The Quaintness of Spam

1866 The Quaintness of Spam

All this fuss about Facebook and the Russians getting trump elected is making spam look quaint.  What used to be among the most annoying features of email and the internet seems like a relic now.

There’s no doubt the evil uses of social media are, well, evil.  And we might ask what does their use say about us as both user and use-ee?  But that’s another topic for another day.  Today let’s think about that little corner of our mailboxes that used to be stuffed with the fantastic.

Is your folder getting anemic?  Many have this condition.  Does the stuff in your folder make you laugh more than want to cash in on that big windfall from a Nigerian prince?

Yes, there still are plenty of sucker games on spam, but it looks like we’ve learned to see them for their entertainment value rather than as a way to get rich quick or grow a bigger whatsis or for a small donation get a tube of “miracle water” that will cure your ills.

I kind of miss the Nigerian prince.  He seems to have stopped trying to get my checking account information.  But he didn’t go easy.  He moved somewhere else and became an Ethiopian prince or a Cambodian prince or even a distant relative of the British royal family.

It’s gotten to the point that if you feel the need for spamish recognition, you have to feather your own nest.  People are taking legitimate ads and marking them as spam just to fill the seats.

The mail that comes in from Sen. Toomey (R-PA) now goes directly to the spam folder. He probably would object if he knew.  But it kind of adds a bit of class to the bleak worlds of tire shops, men’s stores, and counterfeit Viagra from the “Canadian pharmacy” which actually is in India.

Yep, most of that stuff is gone.  Now we’re subjected to much more subtle and believable stuff on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

There is, however, one bright spot in all this: Natasha, the would-be Russian mail order bride and Bobette who wants to know why I didn’t respond to her most recent e-mail (never received.)  The offers are tempting, especially in an age where if a guy looks sideways at a woman he’s immediately put on the sex offender list.

Oh, the things Natasha wants to do to make me happy. All it takes is a small donation on my credit card.  The same goes for “Long Lost Navajo Secret Restores Hearing in 14 Days” and “Get Out of Debt Tomorrow.”

SHRAPNEL:

--If you’d never heard the name “Indo Pacific” before just now, get used to it.  It’s the trump administration’s way of saying “Asia.” The reason for the new name is shrouded in mystery… kind of like a joke that no one gets.

--Spokeswoman Sara Huckster used it in one of her briefings the other day.  Secretary of State ReXXon used it 15 times in a short speech. Count on another change of phrase as soon as someone in Washington realizes that India and other countries have been using Indo Pacific for years… so it wasn’t made in USA.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

All sponsored content on this page is parody.

© WJR 2017