Friday, October 12, 2018

2006 What's in Your Wallet?

One of the least noted sore points in the ongoing war between the sexes centers on the wallet.

Women are forever asking men to get new ones.  Men are forever holding on to theirs with the ferocity of a dog guarding a bone or a toddler who drags his favorite blanket everywhere.

This is a conflict that transcends all the usual barriers.  Race, religion, country of origin, age, sexual orientation, income level, political preference, education level, literacy and on and on.

People can disagree on many issues.  But none is more consistent than this one.

Okay, men, show of hands now.  How many of you have had your wallet called “that rag” by your significant other… or even an insignificant other?

Thought so.

Now, women, let’s see some hands … how many of you have used that term?

Uh huh.

The average American woman has enough handbags and wallets for a regiment and shoes to match each.  Even women who don’t care manage to accumulate plenty over the course of a lifetime and rarely discard any of them.  You never know…

Okay, fine.

Guys tend to keep their wallets.  They become mobile offices.  Credit cards, notes, receipts, etc.  They get dog-eared.  But most of us don’t care about matching a wallet with an outfit.

We don’t have different wallets for special occasions, casual Fridays, travel, business, and visits to the gym or the swimming pool or the pool hall.

Any wallet, even a really good one, will eventually fray. Its material will take on a battered and/or saggy look.  So what?  We know what’s in it and where it is.  It’s not a decoration for us, it’s a body part.

A close friend long used one that was repaired with so much duct tape you couldn’t tell what color it was.  After considerable nagging he reluctantly switched to a new one.  But you can bet good money that he stashed the old one away in a drawer or a box and still has it, just in case.

While you may think of that as extreme, it really isn’t.  Many of us would go that route willingly.

So, ladies, do as you please about your wallets and handbags and shoes.  But understand that guys aren’t wired that way.

--Is there still a war between the sexes or do we now have to call it a war among? Mayor de Blastoff of New York has signed legislation permitting “Gender X” on birth certificates.  What would Fiorello say? Or Ed?

--There’s “fluidgender” aka genderqueer (that’s what they call it!) for people who believe theirs varies depending on mood, circumstances or the hour’s alignment of the planets. You may not recognize genderqueer.  But both Wikipedia and spell check do.

--A lot of flak has landed at Wessays™ World Headquarters for a post on Quora and Facebook defending pineapple pizza.  Martha Stewart has a recipe.  If it’s good enough for her, it’s good enough for you, but if you don’t like it, don’t eat it.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
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© WJR 2018

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