Wednesday, May 23, 2018

1948 The Royal Divorce

1948 The Royal Divorce

GALWAY, IRELAND -- McCabe was in Murphy’s Pub hoping for a soccer game replay and a tune or two. It’s an old timers’ joint where you can nurse a Smithwick’s for an hour if you must, but don’t ask for ice in your Slane’s or out on the street will ya land.

No soccer today.  It’s the Royal Wedding. Every channel.  And on the radio. 

McCabe says to no one in particular “I give it five years.” Y.C. Wang, who was born on St. Patrick’s Day but hadn’t tasted a Guinness until she was well into middle age and hasn’t had one since, agrees.

“That Harry… he’s less British than I am,” says McCabe. “And he’s a playboy.  How long before he starts messing around?”

The bride, the new princess Markle of Hollywood is to the commoners, the new Princess Di.  She proved it by marching down the aisle with that 14-foot headgear wearing Diana’s ring, but without her father at her side.

How long until she finds her own Dr. Khan or Dodi Al Fayed. Tip to princess Markle:  You get into a car with some guy from Pakistan or Egypt and the driver is French and drunk, wear a seatbelt.

McCabe: “With Prince Dumbo and Diana, everyone knew it couldn’t last. Dumbs was smitten with that inelegant gin sponge Camilla proving that Britain is not the height of elegance, manners and taste it claims to be.”  This from a guy whose nickname at Murphy’s is “William of Orange.”

At the request of the footballers (that’s what they call soccer) Murphy turns three of the eleven TV sets to the replay channel.

But the chatter about the Royal Divorce continues apace.  The royals don’t have a lot of fans on the west side of Ireland.  For example, some regulars at Murphy’s have latched on to the notion that Prince Philip lied about his age to join the navy early and he’s really 112 years old, not 96.

Oh, by the way, Queen Liz and Prince Phil are distant cousins which explains a lot about Prince Charles.

Liz however is in fine shape for someone of her age (which we know is 92.)  She and Mama Markle wore similar colors.  How cute. 

The American African bishop who officiated gave a wonderful speech about love and no one fell asleep. Or at least no one fell asleep and was caught so-doing on camera.

So McCabe and Wang are on the same page about the length of the marriage.  But they are not on the same line in the Excel sheet about the projected timeline that builds toward the end.

One thinks Harry already has a girlfriend hidden somewhere in the palace.  The other thinks he’s on and hunting.

--WestraDamus predicted a chubby blonde woman would win the new low-rent version of American Idol and was, as per usual, at least partly wrong.  But winner Maddie Poppe is blonde, though in no way a flesh boulder.  And she’s dating the runner up who should have won, Caleb Hutchinson.

--Have you had enough of the award show overload run by each of the networks?  The website Axios says ratings are down for all of them. That includes the Oscars, Grammys, Tonys, Golden Globes, MTV, Billboard and SAG awards.

--The format itself remains viable as Danish National Television prepares for the first season of “The Nobel Awards,” where contestants audition before judges Queen Margrethe of Denmark, the Rev. Al Sharpton and Simon Cowell.  And here’s your host, Ryan Seacrest.

Additional reporting by Bill “William of Orange” McCabe in Galway.
I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
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