Flash mob or a real kazoo chorus. Oh where is Toscanini when you
need him?
It was yesterday,
January 28th. I bet you missed it. Maybe you never even heard of
it. But admit it: You have one stashed away in a drawer somewhere, or
once did.
Maybe you stashed it
away because it’s just a childhood toy. Or maybe you’re intimidated by
some of the Great Masters like… um… well, surely there have been some. And
surely they were better at it than you or I.
No excuses!
--Gee I had one years
ago but some rat stole it off the piano in the bar while I was refreshing my
drink.
--Gee, I feel stupid
when the neighbors call and demand I stop running my leaf blower after 10
PM. It’s not a leaf blower, it’s a respectable musical
instrument. It only sounds like a leaf blower.
--Gee the kids will
think I’m an imbecile.
--And they’ll laugh at
me.
Had big plans for the
day. Going to stand on a street corner. There was to be a collection hat
at my feet. I was going to take requests.
(Like “get off my corner” or “go back to the nuthouse you escaped from”
or actual Kazoo-friendly songs.
The Flight of the Bumble
Bee, the Minute Waltz, the first movement of Beethoven’s fifth, Take Me Out to
the Ballgame, The National Anthem, Nola, Foggy Mountain Breakdown, the Salem
Cigarette jingle, the Theme from M*A*S*H, the Teddybears’ Picnic. All of
them are great Kazoo songs.
I’ve been working on
Notorious B.I.G.’s “Juicy” for a long time and it’s finally stage-ready. Well…
streetcorner ready.
Seriously, people… the
first kazoo was patented in the 1880s, but there’s strong geological evidence
that it had already been around 40 years earlier. So, this is no passing
fad.
The first mass produced
metal kazoos appeared in upstate New York in the early 1900s. The factory
remains in Eden NY which as a little southeast of Lake Erie where other tiny
towns with names you probably never heard of exist in bucolic beauty and
splendid isolation.
They have a museum and
what probably is the world’s largest retail store devoted entirely to
kazoos. But you can buy them on line for a couple of bucks.
Or you can make your
own, using a pocket comb and tissue paper.
I’m Wes Richards. My
opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments
to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2020
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