This is a Loftus “Gigantic Rubber Fish,” not a real one.
Fishermen and women abound here in The Real America. But real as it is, this place is filled with the spirit of human kindness. Catch and release is the order of the day.
If you’re going to throw ‘em back, why bother with all the folderol of catching them? You spend the cold weather making fake bait. You spend the warm weather dragging your dinghy behind your F-150 and schlepping a tackle box the size of a steamer trunk and a bunch of rods and reels around. You spend a ton of time and money, why?
Why of course! It’s so you can have someone take a picture of you holding your catch. Earth to the fisher-persons: A rubber fish like the one above can fool anyone looking at your snapshot. You can’t tell the difference between it and a live one. (Take stills, not videos!)
You can use the money you save to keep that overpriced underused truck in excellent shape suitable for outrunning the prowl car that will someday chase you because you ran a stop sign.
But there’s more to this than mere fishing. Hunters take note: There also are full size fake deer. They’re sold as lures for real ones. But how often does that work? Unfortunately, the fake deer don’t come looking dead. So it’s a little tougher than fishing when it comes to taking the picture.
But when you DO have the picture taken, it can be in your backyard or the school yard or any place where a bunch of amateurs are firing live ammunition without thought of what they might hit… which is trees and each other more often than not.
Your next picture should be in the aisle of a restaurant supply store where you can have yourself photographed standing over a huge pot with fake antlers sticking out the top.
Another money saving idea. The fake deer will never try to cross the highway. You will never wreck the Silverado or the Ram by hitting one.
But why restrict yourself to a mere deer? You can rent a fake tiger and maybe even a fake elephant. Check that out on line. Get yourself a pith helmet and one of those khaki safari jackets. Then borrow an elephant gun. Stand in front of Rubber Jumbo and don’t forget to smile.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Any Questions? firstname.lastname@example.org
© WR 2021