Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.
The virus isn’t all bad. It may get rid of the worst president in history, the one guy who combines the charm of Gaddafi, the nepotism of Peron, the racial views of Jefferson Davis, the religious tolerance of Hitler and the appetites and fashion sense of Louis XIV.
But there’s also a glimmer of hope already showing.
We can more easily identify crazy people. Not only that, but we can actually call them what they are. Out loud. In Print. On social media.
This may even reduce the incidents of mass shootings. After all, if we could label people as nuts, we might have foreseen Columbine and many of the other copies that followed.
We might have spotted Tara Reade before her mouth ranneth over.
We might have caught the games that caused all those prematurely ending 737 flights. (Needless cost-cutting is a side effect of crazy debt levels.)
Now, we’ll be able to decide and act when Mr. Get Your Dog Off My Lawn acts up. Is he dangerously off his rocker, or is he just tired of picking up the messes your Pomeranian leaves behind?
What better freedom can a freedom-loving population like ours can we invent than the freedom to identify and either avoid or curtail crazy persons? Of course, we can abuse that freedom just as we have others. But at least when you see the moron with no mask in church you can move to another pew.
NOTES FROM ALL OVER:
(WESTRADAMUS HALL, NEW ROSES, PA) -- Scientists at the research building here at the Secret Mountainside Hideaway report progress on their prototype Crazy Detector. “We have shrunk it down to the size of a Mini Cooper,” said a spokesman. “We hope to make it small and light enough for easy portability,” he added.
(JAMAICA, QUEENS) -- With New York loosening virus-inspired restrictions, the mighty Long Island Railroad says it plans to add capacity for the expected onrush of renewed commuters. That’s going to add to new crowding at Penn Station, where half the trains are generally late and the other half canceled.
(NEW YORK) -- The agency that runs the LIRR also runs Metro-North, another award winning laggard. But at least the people of Westchester and farther north will have an absolutely beautiful landmark terminal in which to contract the virus. Thank you, Mrs. Onassis and Mr. Vanderbilt.
(OKLAHOMA CITY) -- Six Flags plans to reopen its Frontier City theme park June 5th. Don’t be there if you can.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Any questions? firstname.lastname@example.org
© WJR 2020