Non-essential fictional person Caspar Milquetoast, the brainchild
of cartoonist H.T. Webster (1885-1952) New York Herald Tribune Archive
In the face of this
pandemic, non-essential people are ordered or asked to…
--Self Isolate.
--Stay home from work.
--Stay off the roads.
--Stay off trains and
boats and planes.
--Refrain from hoarding
“essentials” like toilet paper and flour, hand sanitizer and broccoli.
--Avoid large gatherings
(“large” is undefined.)
--Avoid human reproduction.
All these things for all
these people.
The term “non-essential”
first was used in modern times to tell us who should or should not try to come
to work in a weather emergency.
“All non-essential
government employees should stay home.” -- every governor or mayor when an area
is struck by flood, fire, tornado, pandemic, epidemic, oil spill, water
shortage or major highway smackup. This raises the question why do
governments have non-essential employees?
Same with private
business though with free enterprise variations.
“All MBAs and other
middle managers should stay home.” When the disaster ends you can all
come back and continue “earning” your paychecks by manufacturing work for
yourselves and everyone else, developing gawky and complicated “systems” for
doing such things as counting web clicks or “streamlining” industrial processes
with nonsensical equations and formulas.
Who are the
non-essential workers at the airport? Bartenders? Baggage handlers?
Ticket clerks? Homeland Security inspectors? Pilots? The clerks at the
overpriced trinket counters?
Do police departments
have non-essential personnel? Or non-essential bomb sniffing or drug
sniffing dogs? One group that certainly doesn’t qualify is the DWI
patrol. Revenue is revenue. And we must be able to continue paying our
municipal workers -- even the non-essential ones.
Those of us who are
retired or semi-retired? We’re pretty much surplus humanity,
anyway.
You don’t feel
non-essential, do you? Most of us either don’t or won’t admit it.
TODAY’S QUOTE:
-“If I can’t find an
open golf course, I’ll go crazy.” -- OJ Simpson, to whom we answer how would
you tell?
SHRAPNEL:
--The World’s Best
Commuter Railroad, the LIRR has offered its suffering masses refunds for the
unused parts of their monthly tickets which range in cost from about $140 to
about $500, depending on the length of travel. When you add in the
“processing fee, commuters are getting pennies on the dollar. Rockefeller was
wrong when he called the LIRR the country’s foremost commuter line, but it IS
among the most expensive and the least reliable.
--Wessays HQ has
temporarily acquired a guard dog named “Shorty.” She is a Great Dane standing
about 5’11” on her hind feet and has a basso profundo bark. We lost on the
bidding for an Irish Wolfhound and a Sicilian Mastiff. But still, no one
knocks on the door twice.
Note to readers:
All non-essential personnel at the Wessays Secret Mountain Laboratory and the
staff of this post have been granted extra vacation time or are working from
home. Every word has been individually autoclaved and is certified virus
free. Your computer may vary and Wessays.blogspot.com denies any responsibility
for the condition of your PC, Mac, tablet or smartphone.
I’m Wes Richards.
My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Any questions? Write to wesrichards@gmail.com
Any questions? Write to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2020
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