Monday, March 23, 2020

4566 The Great Equalizer

4566 The Great Equalizer

Staples Street. in Lower Manhattan. The guy is trying to find his way to Penn Station and catch a train back home to Lewistown PA.
Tourist in Lewistown trying to get back to lower Manh… no, wait, that can’t be right.

 Once, the great equalizer was McDonald’s.  If you were near one, you weren’t lost and you knew the place even if your flying saucer dropped you in Buffalo.  But now, you know everywhere. So you’re always at home. Even if you’re on Staples Street because it looks more or less like everywhere else and there’s hardly anyone else around.  Maybe absolutely no one.

And the McD’s is closed except for the drive-through window. Maybe.

The Wessays Secret Mountain Laboratory Observation deck has a bird’s eye view of US Route I-99.  It’s usually pretty busy. Especially on a spring-like weekend when this is being typed. Nary a car. No 18-wheelers. The speed limit here is 65 and it looks like the few vehicles are driven by the well-behaving.  Good thing, too.  Cops in cash-hungry municipalities are just waiting for you to hit 68.

Every place is everyplace.  So, we’re all “home.”

News and questions from All Over:

--How does Dr. Fauci keep his job without toeing the Party line?

--Same general question for Sen. Richard Burr, R-NC who sold all that stock before the market lost upwards of 7.5% of its value while he kept virus growth info to himself?

--Will NBC give Peter Alexander the hefty raise he deserves after the president elevated his stock by calling him a bad reporter for asking a normal, natural question?

--In the face of certain shortages, can entrepreneurial Americans find alternative uses for the glut of broccoli on grocery shelves?

--Are state income tax filings postponed to July like the federal tax?

--Can the Covfefe Virus travel through the walls of adjacent apartments?

--How long can the germs sustain life in freezing temperatures?

--How is bourbon “life sustaining” in New York but non-essential in Pennsylvania?

--Anyone know how to milk a soy plant?

--Who will profit from the gazillion dollar Covfefe Virus rescue plan that McConnell and his drooling cadre of cowards will pass?

--Russia has almost no Covefefe virus cases.  Part of that is the work of Putin’s chief ally, the president of the US whose sanctions keep a lot of stuff out of Russia.  Fewer cases in Russia than in Luxembourg.

--United Airlines has the begging bowl in its hands, claiming it’ll have to lay off lots-o-people if trump doesn’t bail it out.

--Working from home? Disconnect Alexa and her/its relatives if you want to keep your info private.

--As far as is known, Kenny Rogers, 81, did not die from Covfefe Virus.

--NYC recommends self-satisfaction for people who want sex. That’s a new way of saying go F--- yourself.

--Your faithful correspondent is going to the local Jiffylube/Hospital for a CT scan this morning.


I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Any questions? Send ‘em here:
© WJR 2020

No comments:

4744 The Running of the Bull

  Newsday Photo   A bull escaped from a farm in Moriches on New York’s Long Island and has been playing hide and seek ever since.  It’s not ...