Monday, April 06, 2020

4572 The Invisible Man

Even the invisible virus is wearing a mask.

You are a hostage.  It’s not just because you’ve been politely asked to keep apart from one another.  And it’s not because you have been politely asked to remain at home most of the time.  It’s not the Covfefe virus itself.

We have been rounded up and put in small cell concentration camps and at the moment, while we’re free to get time-off for good behavior, we need to be in those small cells most of the time.

There are no armed guards. There are no death trains or Zyklon Gas showers. There don’t have to be. Our jailers are clones of Griffin, H.G. Wells’ Invisible man.  

In case you haven’t read Wells recently, his “assistant,” named “Marvel” rats Griffin, the actual invisible man out to the cops and then asks to be voluntarily locked up in the 1800s’ equivalent of ADX, the maximum-ist maximum security prison in the US.

Talk about voluntary self-isolation.

But fear not. There is a solution. it’s just a matter of re-equipping Obama’s magnetic gun inhaling trucks, the ones he used to make your guns vanish, into trucks that exhale Zyklon and roam the streets of your town, stopping at one window in each house.

Next step:  convert the entire 2020 election into vote-by-mail.  Next, next step: stop collecting mail in communities where registered Democrats outnumber registered republicans. 

Presto: the Republicans retain the White House and the Senate, regain the House and assure themselves that most future Supreme Court decisions are unanimous.

(NewRoses, PA) -- Neighbors had planned to hold a parade for a kid’s sixth birthday and did. In cars. With balloons, streamers, signs and honking horns as they passed his house.

(Pocantico Hills, NY) -- Residents of the Rockefeller estate reportedly are reconsidering re-opening Nelson’s fallout shelter.

(Jersey City, NJ) -- A well-known real estate company owned by a relative of the President, signs a non-discrimination pledge, allowing people of any race, creed or color to contract the Covfefe Virus.

(Los Angeles) -- “Prince” Harry and his nutty wife Duchess Cuckoo, reportedly have asked Queen Elizabeth if they can move back to the Palace. 

(Tampa) -- This year’s WrestleMania was live from the WWE Performance Center. There was no live audience. If you played your cards right, you could have watched it for free. Two days? In previous years, one day was plenty. To some, it was one day too many.

(Houston) -- NASA is planning to build a colony on the moon for earthlings in case of the next Covfefe virus.

(Vatican City) -- Pope Francis, without mask, conducted Palm Sunday services -- also without rank and file faithful.

(Pyong Yang) -- The North Korean government says there have been no cases of the Covfefe Virus.  It also claims to have a rocket capable of sending its germ collection to Bellingham, Washington.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Any questions?
© WJR 2020

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